Dr. Roger Olson's Relationship Quiz

When entering a relationship:

1) You should be aware that . . .

  1. The other is responsible for treating you well and making you happy.
  2. Your main concern is to help the other be a better person.
  3. Desperation and passion are one and the same.
  4. Truth and love need to be in balance.

2) It is best to look for someone who . . .

  1. Will complete you.
  2. Has common interests and values.
  3. Can validate your existence.
  4. Will light your fire.

While in a relationship:

3) Building a friendship . . .

  1. Is a positive byproduct of falling in love.
  2. Just happens.
  3. Is an essential skill that needs to be constantly developed.
  4. Takes place over time by communicating consistently.

4) The key to healthy communication is . . .

  1. Assertively voicing your opinion first
  2. Taking time to cool off for as long as necessary, even if it is days or weeks.
  3. Agreeing to disagree but letting the other know they are wrong with your body language.
  4. Seeing the validity of each other's perspective and honoring it even when you disagree.

When ending a relationship:

5) The factor that predicts relationship doom and disaster is . . .

  1. Criticism
  2. Defensiveness
  3. Contempt
  4. Stonewalling
  5. All the above

6) After a relationship has ended, it is very important to . . .

  1. Quickly enter another relationship in order to get support.
  2. Keep yourselves very busy so you don't have to think of the pain.
  3. Reduce changes in your life and take time for soul searching.
  4. Vow to never enter another relationship.


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