Like most parents, you want your child to enjoy a safe, positive childhood that helps him or her become a productive, competent, caring adult. But the facts are plain-young people are victims of and responsible for much more that their share of violent crimes.

There's much that you can do both to help make young people safer and to strengthen schools and communities to offer them a safer world to grow up in. Here are some suggestions to get you started...

At Home

*Make it clear that resorting to violence is not acceptable to you, at home, at school or in the neighborhood. Your child needs to know how you feel and that you care.

*Develop open, honest communications with your child. Talk about a variety of events and concerns. A child who knows you will listen will be more willing to share things that are troubling.

*Set a good example. Settle disagreements with words, not fists or weapons or threats to use them. Teach children how. (See the "Making Peace" section below for tips.)

*Help kids think through how to handle possible problems-peer pressure, finding or seeing suspicious things, emergencies, etc.-before there's a need.

*Use common courtesy. It helps ease tensions that can lead to violence. Teach children that good manners are important.

*Remember and practice good personal safety habits. As a rule, crooks don't like bright lights, busy places, groups of people or alert subjects. Help your children learn to avoid situations that attract criminals.

*Agree on rules for children at home alone.
Make sure that they:

1. can operate all door and window locks and know to always use them,
   
2. know how to answer the phone in a way that doesn't indicate they're alone and
   
3. know what to do if they're scared, suspicious of faced with an emergency. Rehearse all the steps and review them periodically. Agree with a neighbor that you will serve as resources for each other's children.
   

*Ensure that your home is as secure as possible. Get a free home security survey from local law enforcement.

At School

*Support programs that train students and staff in conflict management, problem-solving and similar skills. Try to arrange similar training for parents.

*Work to set up extended-day programs so that students have safe places to go and positive things to do outside school hours.

*Enlist students in identifying violence and other crime problems at school and designing projects to address them.

*Ensure that the school has consistent discipline policies that are firmly and fairly enforced, as well as a response plan for emergencies.

In the Neighborhood

*Teach children to play in groups, not alone. Agree on places that are off-limits-such as alleys, vacant lots, abandoned buildings, isolated areas-and review the list with them frequently.

*Keep an eye out for suspicious or criminal activity and report it at once to the police or sheriff's department. Agree to testify when necessary.

*Help your children and others in the neighborhood identify positive, crime-free, drug-free activities they can enjoy together.

*Don't support or tolerate illegal activities such as buying stolen property or using illegal drugs. It's the wrong message to send to children and involves you in criminal behavior.

*Monitor you child's playmates and friends; get to know their families. Talk with other parents about their views on violence. Determine basic rules for all the children and agree that you will all help enforce them.

Making Peace

Whether you are at home, at work, at school or at play, people are bound to disagree. Conflict is not necessarily bad, but violence is not a good way to settle it. Some basic strategies can help you, your family, your friends and your neighbors when conflicts arise:

*Beware of how you are likely to respond in conflict situations. What kinds of words, gestures or others actions "trigger" angry responses? Knowing what triggers your anger can help you manage your emotions.

*Think about what you need, not what your position (or solution) is. There may be more than one way to meet your needs. You both may have the same need.

*Agree to state facts, not opinions, and to stick to the subject at hand, not to dredge up old arguments.

*Listen actively. Pay careful attention to what the other person is saying.

*Take a step back and work together to brainstorm all the ways that areas of disagreement might be resolved. Discuss the pros, cons and consequences of each idea objectively.

*If conflict persists, or if angry responses have gone too far, think about getting help from a third party. A respected, disinterested person or mediator (a specially trained person who helps those in disagreement to resolve their differences) can often help bridge the gap.

*Teach young people these basic steps for making peace. Practice them at home; encourage children to use them on the playground, at school or wherever conflict appears.

*To help make peace throughout your community, consider starting or volunteering for a neighborhood or school-based conflict resolution or mediation service. Check on local resources such as mediation services available through family courts, family counselors and Chambers of Commerce, or look under "mediation services" in the yellow pages of your phone book.